halloweenwitch; I think it's natural for you to feel that way. I felt completely lost the first year after my diagnosis. The boredom may also be a mild depression. I know I used to constantly say to my P-doc that I felt "flat". I did end up needing a med tweak and I wish I had requested that earlier, so perhaps speak to your p-doc about it. I was hospitalized for major depression (attempted) when I was diagnosed, and my p-doc placed me on leave from work for 8 months. I felt like a failure. My career was very important to me and I thought I would never be able to go back. During that time, what really made a difference to me is I took part in an intensive group therapy program 8 hours/day for 3 months. It was lead by psychiatrists and therapists. It truly saved my life. If that isn't offered in your area, perhaps seeing a therapist may help.

A person that really cared about you wouldn't wish for the hypomania to come back because we all know what goes up must come down. Don't let bipolar define you. You have bipolar you are not bipolar. You will find out who you are and the sharp thinking does return. I am the same person I was before. I'm still funny, I'm sharp, witty etc., what is missing is the drastic mood swings.

I hope you start feeling at peace with your diagnosis soon. I will never say I'm glad I have bipolar, but I have learned how to manage it and 3 years later I do feel like I'm more at peace with it.