Dear Queen,
I'm so sorry your search for answers is so very difficult. I understand. I'd like to share that I finally started writing everything down so the next newest pdoc could get an accurate feel for what i was going through. it's so painful to have to share all that pain to strangers.

When i got to the end of my rope in 1995, ready to just fold up my chair and go "home", that's when i got my answer, part of the picture anyway, and was dx'd with bipolar disorder. my reaction was incredible relief. yes, relief. and medicines to help, finally. recently you know of the derealization/depersonalization dx. again, incredible relief. i wish this relief from finally "knowing" for you too dear Queen.

My heart goes out to you and you know i support you and will hope and "pray" for the best for you. don't EVER give up dear Queen, the answers are there, we just have to persevere.

always [and oh yes, i agree with Gus! ]

"Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else."~ Brian Tracy