October 9th it will be one year to my brother's suicide. I still haven't dealt with it. I feel tremendous guilt for being on the outs with him and not making things right. I have been talking to my step-niece and it is painful.

My niece doesn't want to talk to me especially about my brother. I am filled with fresh loss. Last year, my parents told me four days before my birthday. I think that was wrong. Every year will be ruined now.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers. I will keep trudging on. Thank you.

Mary Alice