I went to visit friends in another state - it was an awesome visit. I used to be their neighbors for over 5 years, so they do know me well. They treat me "normal" - just like it used to be.

But since we moved to another state (from MN to CO) nothing has gone right in my life at all. We moved in 2006 and I've been bullied and messed with ever since then - it feels pretty bad.

In MN I had Dr's who I could trust - I had a therapist I could trust - friends I could trust and a church I could go to and be part of. People treated us normally. We had a "real" life.

Then I came to CO and was almost immediately treated like something was wrong with me - I've fought this. In having to fight for myself, now I'm angry.
Dr's don't work out for me here - therapists have not yet worked out for me here and I've tried several (male and female); friends sure haven't worked out and generally use me badly; jobs have not worked out (although I had a decent job in MN where I was treated well).

I feel despair now because I am going back to CO - I feel very oppressed and trapped there. If only I had the means to start over someplace else - back to MN where I have friends. But I don't. I do know there was a difference!

Sorry for venting - I feel pretty bad about this.

I changed my "mood" status to "sad" - but I looked for one that said "defeated" - it wasn't there.