No worries, PTK! The thing is... someone may well have been wondering about the ins and outs of what you researched (and btw, WOW!) and there it is! (A lot of folks on here take Lamictal/lamotrigine after all...) Oh, and I sooooooo hear you on the keystroke of DOOM! When I first got a laptop...can't even tell you how many times that happened. It had something to do with the heels of my hands for crying aloud-- not even a keystroke(!) Very frustrating stuff. Between that and how many times sites have gone down *just* as I submit, I now compulsively save (control c) as I write, multiple times for more involved posts. (If only saving my cave paintings were as easy! Hehe, oh how many times a reference point is caught on the edge of the tongue, eh?... I'm 47-- still can't believe when it's said or written-- and just yesterday was extolling the virtues of the endless amusement that could be had with a typewriter.... No, really!)

So... I wasn't working graveyard before, but actually requested it (kind of crazy, but I had/have my reasons, mainly that it's the least stressful shift of this job. Considerably so, even to the point of serious boredom(!)) So yes, blueoctober, it's stable as of this point. Also, it's really not anything I feel in the least bit pressured about (free to request any or all shifts, no problem there). Small co., no HR, don't possess disabled status. Um... let's see... Do I *like* this job? Well, don't know if "like" would be the word exactly, but I don't hate it, as sooo many jobs of the past and to my total surprise. (Almost backed out before starting, such were my fears of it. Turns out I'm pretty dang good at it! It's sooooo not me, and yet I can do it. Very weird. Was just thinking-- tonight actually-- there's me-me, and there's work-me and usually I can manage to "do" whatever for a frame of time, unless me-me is completely overwhelmed, then work-me doesn't stand a chance. Does that make any sense?) So... anyway, I don't hate it (don't "like" it, but don't "hate" it), but here's the thing. The pay? OMG in relationship to my usual min. wage type stuff. And as a result, I have to work far fewer hours to manage. That's a VERY good thing, as I've ever (as in, 30 years!) only had one full time job, and it was seasonal. Full time was one of my biggest fears in having to head out into the Big Bad World. Oh. And you will also be glad to know that I'm quite good at taking my meds right around the same time every day. No matter what. Will admit that it helps enormously in currently having a very very simple routine. Did get a pillbox recently to help with the "what day of the week is it" and "did I take my meds this morning?" problems in one fell swoop.

Think I will ride it out a bit longer and see how it goes. The weirdest part of it is that most of the time, I'd say, "yeah, it's going pretty much the same". But there are times when I realize, no..., there have been some fairly disturbing and rapid plummets and anxiety bouts. More than there were before. I *am* keeping a new style of mood chart, and it certainly does reformat the experience(!) Still, there's just... something. These sneaking peeks of an impending "losing it". ....They come and go (of course. Sheesh, what doesn't?!) Like.... right now I'm fine. Better than fine. Ready to blow off sleeping and just go to bed early tonight. Couple hours of sleep in the past...24. Heading home from work, went grocery shopping. No list, but some fun stuff on the potential menu! Then just didn't really feel like going back to sleep (DID take my meds on time though! ) and here I am!

Ok. Here's a funny. Here I am grocery shopping. La-di-dah, la-di-dah and all of a sudden I thought... holy cow, did those packages of chicken just move?! Like they're... breathing???!!! Stood and stared. WTH?! Poked a few racks, watched when people took things out of the case, maybe it's just air pressure! (BF came by. Works there. I've been mixing up my words and said, "I've been standing here swearing at the chicken!". "I mean "staring"!) Couldn't figure what was going on. A little while later, was walking down an aisle when I saw the same thing among canned goods. Holy cow, am I losing it altogether?! More tired than I feel? Suddenly I realized. Just last week, I got progressive bifocals. Side to side (away from a computer screen, lol!) movement of my head made it look like things were moving on their own!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Which has nothing to do with anything, but it was funny, so had to share.

(Oh, and PTK! I've worked a fair bit of chainmaille, so got a kick out of your sign-off there! How'd you know?! )

p.s. Paragraphs are my friend. Also, wishing you all a big laugh from my grocery escapade. It's still cracking me up, a couple hours later... Humor is good.