PTK, I very much relate to the facade that is required to operate in life, even when we are literally dying inside. To be frank, I don't really know the answer to that because of the real stigma, bigotry, fear and rejection that comes with being a person with Bipolar Disorder who is "out" with family, friends and former work bosses. It seems that the facade is in fact a necessary thing to be accepted. I think society has such a long way to go in terms of a preparedness to understand our illnesses - and I think it takes a degree of courage from those family, friends and colleagues to give it a go to try and learn. The vast majority have turned away and relegating people with mental illness to the edges of society and denying them the deserved benefits of a social support network is the single worst thing you could do to someone like me.

As to suicide, it wasn't for lack of trying on my part, or a preparedness to change, which someone mentioned that led me to make a 100% serious attempt. I was 100% meds compliant, worked on therapy, was years sober in AA. But unfortunately there can sometimes be other factors. I was grossly mis-prescribed for 6 years (I didn't know that SSRI's can be contraindicated for some people, even with mood stabilisers). And as a result every single thing eventually slipped from my life and then nearly my life itself.

At 43, on the Disability Support Pension (Australia) after having had and lost a wonderful career, the life presented before me could be no further away from the life I envisioned as a young woman. But I am daily in a progression to a passion for a new but different life and an identity that I can be proud of - it's hard to have absolutely everything stripped from you. I am on the best meds mix I've ever been on, I embrace therapy and my continued passion for AA. It's still very hard, I relapse either into Hypomania and then major episodes of Biplar Depression and suicidality and also panic and anxiety disorders as well as PTSD. But as glacially slow is my recovery, it's still a recovery.

You know, we see acts of enormous courage on the TV every night - people climbing mountains or breaking records, but I really think that people with mental illness are champions too - we climb that mountain every single day, again and again.