(((SAWE))) I know the feeling. I do not like being the center of attention, or the one people are focusing on. I like to be hidden in the background. It is seldom that I open myself up to anyone.
The mere thought of birthdays and celebrations makes me shudder. Don't feel guilty about it...it is what it is. Can you tell your family you prefer something subdued and quiet? Maybe just cake at like 7pm one evening...shortest amount of time, quicker recovery?