Hi, Calizic/Michael, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

I was a little shocked at your statement, "I agreed to do the whole move on her own thing, as long as she went to therapy." It's her life, she can do whatever she wants with it, whatever she feels necessary with no "permission" from you! How Shannon feels is how she feels. It doesn't sound like she is fond of her choices when she was younger, or yours. That you were "drunk" when you were with Tanya, is hardly a positive addition to the story; makes it look like it wasn't entirely your "fault" when it was. How you conduct yourself drunk or sober; how does Shannon know you have changed?

I think it is a positive move on Shannon's part, for Shannon to get a little space and see what is what in her life; what she wants, how she feels, etc. I don't see any indication that she needs therapy to do, or because she wants to do, that. I applaud your "caring" but it feels a bit condescending and controlling to me and that's just what she wants to sort out. Shannon is entitled to feel however she feels, doesn't matter that you were with Tanya or someone else. I'd be physically helping her move out and asking her where she'd like to go on her first date and if there is anything you can do to help, instead of trying to control the situation and make her feel like there's something "wrong" with her or that she can't live without you and might fall into depression. If you love her, you have to learn to support her on her terms, not your own idea of what you think her terms should be.