Hi AloneWithBetrayel;I am truly sorry you had such a tough childhood. Your strength speaks volumes that you survived that. I have a similar background and sometimes what happens (it did with me) a person can be attracted to a partner that is similar to an abusive parent.

I'm glad you decided to post and you don't mention if you are seeing a therapist. I would suggest doing that. I had wished that I had saw someone in my 20's, but I stuffed my feelings until at 31 I was hospitalized for major depression. You don't need to suffer through this alone and a mental health professional may be the key to starting to heal.