Ok Calizic, I might be a total noob here too, but I have a little different feelings than what has been posted so far. Keep in mind that I have absolutely no professional background with mental illnesses and that I suffer from no mental illnesses (to my knowledge).

I think that both yours and Shannon's feeling are valid. It is obvious that she is having some self image issues with the weight that could possibly need time and support in coming to terms with for her (and possibly for you too...). Also, her reaction to what happened in the past, before you even knew each other is an over-reaction in my opinion. Keep in mind for yourself that neither of you can control what you feel, that is the point of feelings, they are not controlled they are just felt for what they are. If she feels hurt or upset about her dream and the semi-truthfulness of it, she can't help that, whether it makes sense or not. There may be an underlying problem with depression in her life, or it could just be the unresolved (as to me they seem obviously unresolved) issues from her past boyfriend and group of friends. You and I are in a very similar situation with relationships, as my girlfriend is bipolar, and her past has caused her to be VERY independent. She walked in on her ex-husband in bed with another woman (who's body was very different from her own), and since her ex-husband had complete control over all aspects of the relationship (finances, vehicles, he wouldn't let her work, asked permission to go anywhere...) she was forced to start over with nothing and take care of her two small children. From then on she has never relied on or really been close to anyone. It has taken a lot of work and patience on both of our parts to have the relationship that we have today and yes we still have problems.

As for your situation, I do agree with previous posts, it is her life and she will do what she wants. It is not up to you to put stipulations on her moving out or going to therapy. I would agree that yes therapy would probably help her, but it is not up to you to force her to go. It is your job as someone who loves her to tell her that you would like her to go to therapy, that you would like to stay living together and that you are willing to put in the work and compromise on whatever needs to happen to make her feel comfortable with herself and the relationship. I do not think that you are purposely trying to be controlling, but there are undertones of controlling behavior that come through in your writing. I would recommend you to do some self evaluation and think about any ultimatums or "hard lines in the sand" that you draw with her. Try to empathize with her and understand where she is coming from with the move (I agree that the dream reaction if over-reacting, but the move may have some roots). She feels as if she has lost too much control over her own life, that if she does not maintain that control she will wind up easily fooled and hurt again. She needs your support, without restrictions, conditions, or ultimatums. This disagreement that you are having is not one persons fault, it will take some self reflection, work, and compromise on both parts to work things out and if you are both willing to do that for your relationship then you will, if not then you won't. But keep in mind, her moving out is not the end of the world, it may feel like a step backwards to you, but if you love and support her in a positive way through this, then she will come to truly trust you and your relationship will be all the stronger for it. That is all I have to say and I apologize for rambling on in a most likely incoherent stream of nonsense...