Yes, we'll see what she does tomorrow morning. I am guessing from where my thoughts were going last night, that she will lower the dose again. I don't want to go into too many details, but I was having an argument with myself about whether it would be better to put my head or my fist through the window.

There were other thoughts too that involved bottles of pills and a couple of razors that my husband took from me last year and I happened to find them once when I was cleaning up. I didn't tell him that I found them.

I had already taken my Seroquel for the night so I knew that if I just stayed in bed that I would be asleep soon and the thoughts would be gone by morning. They'll be back later, as the pattern has been lately.

I can't keep this from her because I know that even though I can handle it now, that I have been down this road before and I will end up in trouble. I have always been able to get myself to the hospital before my irrational thoughts completely take over, so I really need to take advantage of this appointment before I totally lose it.