Hello Kelly,

I have been in LDR for most of my dating and married life since I am in the U.S. Army. I lived in Germany for three years and have two deployments (currently in my second). I have to say that everything Roman said is spot on. Keep in mind that it isn't your fault and you haven't done anything wrong, if a journal is not your style I would suggest a blog (there are plenty of free sites, try blogger.com it is easy). If you had a blog then he could see how his disappearing affects you and the hurt and worry you are going through when he drops off the map. The key to that would be you would have to be honest in your blog and say how you feel, not hold back because he might read it. Aside from that, what Roman said is true, let him know that you worry and it hurts you when he disappears on you. Ask him to at the very least give you the courtesy of letting you know he is still alive by send you an email or text every couple days or everyday. It wouldn't have to really say anything, just "Hey, I am still here" and that would significantly lessen your worry and also provide an opening or stepping stone to maybe see if he will start to confide in you more...

With my girlfriend, I ask the same thing of her. If we are fighting or she is depressed and doesn't want to talk to me, I just ask her to let me know she is still breathing so that I can know I still have my loving beautiful girlfriend to come home to. Usually when that happens she will still write me a couple of paragraphs and it opens up the lines of communication to get more started. That is all I can think of to help for now... Keep us updated on how it goes, what works and what doesn't so everyone can learn from the situation...