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Sep 20, 2010, 03:40 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 7,326
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After my behavior last week, I realize that attending group T this week would be difficult – and I kept saying that I had no intention of going. Then, I realized that in order to work through this, I needed to go…
But I’ve been dealing with so much other stuff that is overwhelming enough, I can’t see adding more to my overflowing pile right now. I feel like a caged animal, terrified and ready to lash out at anything that comes my way.
I pretty much know that I wouldn’t share any of my personal struggles during group T. I tried that recently, and look where it got me….and now that the group is pretty ticked off at me, I doubt that they would be supportive of me anyway. Nor, do I feel deserved of their support.
The conclusion I came to was that I need to have a session with T individually first before going back to group T. So, I posted on the blog that I was not intending to go to group tomorrow – that I’m dealing with a lot of stuff and because of my behavior last week, I’m doubtful that my attendance would be of any value. Of course, no response so far. 
I notified T that I was not going to group, and he acknowledged that he is aware.
I’m assuming everyone is glad that I’m not going...and that they’d prefer me not to be there anyway. 
Blech.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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