I applied for disablity one time and was denied. I decided not to appeal and try again to work. I did try for another 12 yrs, but I never stayed at a job very long or I didn't work at all. I have Borderline Personality disorder, depression and panic disorder. I know have an attorney and am applying again. I can take better care of my mental health not working. You should not feel embarrassed about being on disability for mental illness, but I do understand. Society has made it very difficult for people to accept that a mental illness is an illness just like if you were a diabetic, or had cancer etc. There is such a stigma attached to having a mental illness, although it is getting better. My dad comitted suicide at the age of 49 in 1998, he was also diagnosed Borderline but in his generation it was such a shameful thing to talk about. It led to a deep depression followed by him overdosing. I am new here but am thankful to have found this site where we can talk about our illnesses with others that understand.