MUE, because someone else calls you harsh, I don't care if it's your T, does not make you harsh! Rarely is the expression of anger, "pretty". I reread all your posts about the blowup and I am really proud of you that you didn't do name calling or degenerate into the "snarling" person you claim you were; I think your feelings are reflecting more your take on what the other people seemed to be doing. I think, were I in your place, I would go to group, just to see what happened! I wouldn't be able to "stop" in the middle of the story

That the other girl was hurt, could indicate you touched a nerve, something she has been told before but hasn't been able to address yet. I think it is natural that other people respond to people who appear to be the weaker/more hurt? You very clearly stated your point of view and that's wonderful! Yes, when you become perfect it will sound better, and the guy who was "disappointed" in you, that's how he feels and is about him, not about you!