i'm glad u found us! welcome to pc. you've had lots of abuse and betrayal but what you wrote is true-you are a strong person. many ppl never have to deal with those events. for those of us that have, know that you can build on your inner strengths. i used therapy and support groups to achieve this. it worked for me. i learned how to keep a healthy distance from certain ppl by learning the red flags, as i call them, that i notice in others. i try to be more careful in developing relationships that are healthy. took some practice and more therapy but if sure seems to work.
you deserve good ppl in your life. we all do. it's just learning how to sort out the "weeds" in our garden.