wow, I had such a crazy morning and afternoon. Still haven't gone to the school (my first class isn't for a few more hours) but I'm home briefly and wanted to update you guys.

I pulled into T's parking lot and saw her truck parked there, I breathed a HUGE inward sigh of relief.

It was a good session. I told her right away that I didn't want to do trauma work today and that I'd like to change our standing appt to Tues when I don't have class. I said I don't want to do trauma stuff and school on the same day. She smiled and said that sounded like a really healthy plan to her. Another sigh of relief! I said, "good, I was worried about that. I sort of agonized over it".

So instead we talked about what's been going on in my life for the last 2 weeks. When I left I felt like I had just spent the previous 50mins talking at the speed of sound and still didn't get everything said that I wanted to, but it was good.

It felt really nice to leave there without feeling like I was dragging my torn up heart behind me. Part of me really wants to keep not doing trauma work, because it just feels so good to not have done that for a couple of weeks. At the same time, another part of me knows that I'm not done and it might feel good now but it can't really heal until it's finished.

I feel kind of emotional and like I'd really rather stay home in my pjs on the couch, but I'm going to push myself to go to class. I can't miss the first one. Plus I need to get my financial aid check, lol!

So, that was it. T was there. I felt validated and heard and supported and...cared for? Maybe a little?