ugh, you guys. My class, eng101, was okay but I was just pretty much overwhelmed by the time I got there. Too much in one day for me. And then after class when I went to leave, IN THE DARK, the brakes on my van failed and it was horrible. Luckily, a friend I made at the school last week was there and she gave me a ride home.

I don't even know what to do with my van or how I'm going to get to class tomorrow or to my dr's appointment tomorrow. And worse than all that, both of my sons are in juvie right now for truancy.

It feels like everything is falling apart, and I don't understand it. Can't things be okay for me, even for a while? I don't even know if I'm going to be able to keep going to school if I don't have a vehicle, or how I'll get to T, or how I'll visit my boys in juvie or my youngest who lives with her dad. This just screws everything up.

It's hard to not feel like it's a smackdown from the universe for daring to think I could change things or have a better life for me & my kids.