what are constructive things you can do to get out from that "rut and bottom rung"?
networking with ppl you know in the field
getting your resume out there where your skills can be seen
turning that lemon into lemonade by expanding your responsibilites at your present job
gratitude, you are employed so that makes you more employable to a prospective company
...and no you're not an aful person unless you choose to be. when you feel down the best direction is up.  i'd try rewiring your thinkin'...you're educated and need to look for your niche. putting some positives in action can turn this around for you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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