Wow you are still young you are only 31.
Why do you think you are not going to have a child in a relationship?
Do you feel afraid of relationships?
Would having a child get rid of the suicidal thoughts?
A friend of mine had a parent complete suicide and it was absolutly heartbreaking for her, I can't imagine that you are at the right place emotionally to do this right at the moment, but, I'm not totally against the idea.