Rita the first thing I want to say to you is welcome to PC. I understand your need for the valium. But I believe that you would benefit from therapy as well. The valium is just numbing everything right now, nothing is being resolved. Just pushed down. You need to have a safe place to talk about your feelings. I understand your thinking that your life is ruined by these people. But you have gotten away from this situation. You are strong and you can do anything with your life now that you want. It takes courage to get away from these people . So you have to be strong. I grew up in a child porn ring and had been past around to many people. You can be more and you are strong. Don't let these people continue to run your life. You are stronger then they thought.
Much hope and care for you, Good Luck, Monty