well it's time i posted to get some feedback on what to do.
my daughter in law has been emotionally and verbally abusive to me for 14 years in spite of my efforts to avoid conflict. imho she is passive agressive and self absorbed. last year i caretook my schizophrenic ex husband. my son asked me if i would do this. i said i would give it a try for 1 year. (i don't anymore) the final blow came when i called my son who lives nearby for help...his father was psychotic and a threat to myself. the agreement when i took on this task was to call my son in an emergency. after calling 911 and son, my daughter in law called me and yelled into the phone, HOW DARE YOU DISRUPT MY FAMILY!! and hung up. later i spoke with my son and discovered he didn't know she called. BUT here's the kicker, since that time i've been left out/no invites to visit, no occasional phone calls from son, mom, how's it going?,etc. and i haven't seen the grandchildren since that time tho i'm only 20 min. away. (this is a condensed version of 14 years of ongoing walking around on eggs since he married his wife).
i feel that i cannot be her human doormat anymore.
so my question is this:
should i just move and get on with the rest of my life?
or what would you suggest... i know i'm not giving you all the facts..too much to write..but i'm so hurt by her treatment of me for 14 years and also hurt that my son doesn't value me enough to even stay in touch.
please be gentle with me when/if you reply. at this point i'm heartbroken...mostly of my son's choices. we were always close but i have stayed out of their business other than to be available when they needed my help since their marriage. when she visits her family in calif. he calls me every day as tho we've been in touch all along. as soon as she returns...silence.. so it's like he can't have a mother relationship being married or at least when she's home.
idk, it's so convoluted. i just don't see why it has to be this way. i need help in knowing what is the best thing to do to help myself.thats really the gist of this thread. thanks for reading.