Whoa! How can you decide how this woman "should be" with others? Just because she's the boss lady doesn't make her super woman. I know any number of professional people/women and men both, who are shy and/or "started" shy and took years to "become" outgoing.

I would take my T's word for it if we've already discussed it and he's said he doesn't talk about his clients. That doesn't mean she doesn't know you go to therapy/even therapy with her husband though; there are other ways she could see/find out that particular public information unless you go to your sessions incognito and park away from his office, etc.? But if she knows you see him is not "knowing" anything at all about your therapy!

I don't know how long you have worked there and/or how this boss woman treats other individuals (as individuals; when they're the only one in the room), etc. there are any number of reasons why you perceive her this way but the conclusion from your perception is biased, I think.