Rhiannonsmoon, you express yourself so well. i'm sending a  to you. you've suffered a lot but continue to move forward. that is a good exanple for me to follow today. i hope that in your lifetime you and your grandson will find the peace you both deserve and can be together as it was intended to be all along.  i truly believe this.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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