I kind of suspected the first thing people would do is jump on it negatively almost like they had to defend themselves. You totally misinterpreted my post.

When i said consciously create...I do not mean that I sat down one day and said "let's see if i can do this". What I meant was that during the ongoing trauma, a daydream developed and then dissociation comepletely into the daydream and then the me in that daydream became self aware. You did THE SAME THING to create your alters. That is what DID is, self hypnosis. What I was asking is, do remember the process of any of the creations ? There is not always loss of consciousness during hypnosis. I did not set out to create a new alter, it just happened and I just happened to remember it. The rest of them I don't. but yah, make your judgement calls because I tell truth. Feel vastly superior and good about yourself.

Personally I think many DID's remember at least bits of the beginnings of some of their personalities. I think they fear ridicule if they say that...like just what happened in this thread.

I remember one time as a child. I had barricaded myself into my bedroom to escape harm. I remember sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth and the thought of calling a man and a woman to me who would save me came into my head. They were inside of me. then the memory ends.

later in life, I had not been having probs with shifting for years until I went through an extremely stressful time and then an emotionally abusive time, followed by a physical attack. I was'nt even aware I was DID at this point. In the past, I'd lose time or I'd be juxtaposed and just thought it was part of my weirdness. But I was very distraught and suicidal. i began having a daydream. I could'nt control it ...but I could watch it. Id come out of the dream and hours or days would have passed. Then I would become her without the daydream. I could feel her but I was in the background and had no control.