thanks googley

I don't know if you are familiar with Harry Potter at all, but I think of my lists as my version of a pensieve, where I can put all those distracting and annoying thoughts so they won't be tumbling around in my head.

I told my T about my list and she reminded me that a year ago I would call her in a meltdown and she would tell me exactly what to do, one thing at a time. I hadn't thought of that when I made my list last night, but it was obviously in my head.

I remember those phone calls to, T telling me "get up, wash your face, brush your hair, go outside, drive to the pharmacy, pick up your meds, drive home and call me when you get there."

It feels good to know that I have some form of inner-T that does that for me now. She is a part of me and that means I can't lose her, ever. Ever.

eta: I got curious so I went & looked at my threads and found this one from last Dec, which means it wasn't even a year ago, just 9 months! I remember those days so vividly. I dread going back to that place. Ugh.