Thanks Innerzone. It is 12.00noon on Wednesday here now. I am getting worse - couldn't sleep properly last night and the exhaustion overall is really hitting a peak now - and I have so much to do and so many weeks of hard tasks on front of me that have to be done in a time-critical manner. This is my "Cryptonite". If I am under sustained pressure of any kind, I implode. And it's definitely happeneing, even though, to the best of my ability I have held off from tasks when I have been vulnerable. The only variable I can change is to have my highest dose of Valium PRN on more nights than the lower dose. But my psychologist has just started bugging me now, of all times, to back off on my Valium. I just had a moment of clarity as I typed that because I have spent 2 years disagreeing with my psychiatrist who has wanted my to take the lowest dose every single night, no matter whatever was happening so the blood levels are consitent and I have fewer of the big panic episodes or consistent anxiety - I didn't want to because I felt it would leave me more prone to addiction. But I have just relented after two years, actually because of my chronic back and neck problems. And now that I need to take the upper level of the PRN because I am in crisis mode, the psychologist has started hassling me about it. It's very confusing because I am 100% compliant (overly so with the 2 years scenario) andn isn't a time like now the right time to use the upper end of the PRN on more daya than not? I always get back to the lower end ASAP and I had a 10 day block at that lower end until last week. I have left a message for my psychologist to call me and I'm going to say to her everything I just typed (nicely!!?? lol). So that may be factor that can help.