((((bitterdregs))))

Thank you for posting and for asking your question. I am not sure that I ever remember creating any alter when they were created. I remember when I was older I would dissociate leaving myself and floating up to the ceiling, if or when someone came forth I was not aware. But that does not mean that you are wrong.

As I have been working through healing and coming into co-consciousness with others and accepting their memories it is then that I go back to that place where I could no longer be. Many times I have referred to it as taking back that breath that stopped when I could not be. I really do not remember creating them.

When I listen to them as they now tell their memories to me or I am standing there close, I begin to remember at the point that it was too much that I left. The pain that I feel when connecting to them at their memory is more painful than I can explain. I am scared of them when they tell me their memories and tears always come as I reach out to accept them and to let them know that they did a good thing for me.

It is like I stopped breathing at that point of it being so much and they started to breath and I did not breath again until what happened was over. I do not remember what took place until I receive back what they hold. When I receive back that memory it feels as though I take back that breath that I stopped breathing at the moment they took over.

The realization then comes at what happened but until that moment I am not aware of what they went through for me. The others that stepped in many times also split off many times and at times they will also give back there memories but they seem to merge into where they split from. So until I accept the memory back I have no memory of splitting or anything.

I know this probably does not make sense as I am not sure I am explaining it very well. I am sorry for this as I sometimes am still lost in it all myself. I think it is different for all of us and it can be possible for you to remember at times. Only you know for sure and that is good enough.

I thank you for posting and for asking. If we do not ask we do not know. Please take care of you as you are on this journey. Know that we are here for you and we care. I hope that you continue to ask. Thank you for sharing your truth and for being honest. That is all anyone can do. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps