I am in my 50s I have always felt alone even when I was in a relationship it was hard for me. I have low self estime and cannot believe that anyone could possibly like me as my parents always told me how no good and worthless. Some part of me knows this is not true but having been used by people I trusted I found it hard and it still effects me now. I treat people as I'd like to be treated and dont allow anyone to take advantage of me like they used to when I was young. I keep things in which does not help my emotional state. My life is good now but I still have deep dark days that I dont know how to get away from. I went to bed last night saying a mantra to myself and promising myelf that this morning I would wake up and try to be happy. Its helped a bit but I feel so anxious. This year started really badly for me depression wise and although its eased off a bit I would just like to wake up one morning and be able to get throuh the day feeling ok and able to cope and not feel so lonely and unloved. I just have no energy for anything except going to work. sorry for this but I just needed to get this out as I am feeling so bad right now and am fed up of weeping all the time. I feel so lost.