Hello Michael,

I think I understand your and Shannons situation. I'm not so certain she had a dream about this Tanya out of the blue like that; it's possible that someone has told her that you two got together one night (don't put anything beyond some people). If this did happen then it's just as contributory to her issue regarding this. Something that has been bothering her since the time the thing happened and she is obviously guarding herself both emotionally and physically while she reacts to it and the pain she feels.

Your interaction with the woman Tanya has brought everything back to her and she is trying to stabilise her world knowing that you have had oral sex from the same woman with whom her boyfriend cheated. Now she sees your penis as the culprit and so does not want sex with you because every time you get amorous she sees this Tanya going down on him. So you may have to accept the punishment of not being intimate with her for a while which is actually a test to see if you can remain loyal to her and patient too.

I really feel for both of you. The only thing you can do is if you love her, then be patient caring and loving; reassure her constantly how much you love her and as you move forward reaffirm to her that what is past is passed and it isn't a good thing to dwell in the past, especially if it is harming her present circumstances and future happiness.

If she has chosen to see a therapist then she has a better chance of working things through and putting things into little boxes where they belong & moving on with her life. You will know more if she is diagnosed with anything, and you can then come here for some support with the relationship and begin to understand where she is coming from.

I really wish you luck as you obviously love her and she is lukcy for that. Lets hope that she realises that 2 years ago is 2 years ago, way before you met and fell in love with her.

Kudos to you Michael for trying to fix this issue between you; many men would take one day and then walk, you have decided to stay and though that road may be difficult it will probably be very much worth it.

Please remember too that jealousy is somtheing which can consume some people and she needs very loving arms very supportive patience until she works that out too,

Take care Michael, thinking of you both,

Rhiannon