I have been diagnosed BP for over 10 years now and I am medicated....

I still have the swings but they have changed so much over the years. I used to love my mania because I had so much energy and a love for all things and then as I was getting older my mania's became more of angry outbursts and anxiety. The following depression was always the same or worse.

Well, last week I started feeling a little bit of the old good manic come back and it is getting more and more intense and i hate to say this but I absolutly freakin love it. I am wide eyed and bushy tailed and I have not felt this good in years. I don't want to tell my Pdoc because I really want to ride it out. Of course I am still rational enough to know what it is going to be like when I crash and I am dreading it.

i guess I just needed to come on here and let someone, anyone know. I did tell my hubby but he didn't really say much. He doesn't completly understand.

Grrrrr. i know what I should do, but it is so hard. I had to take an extra klonopin yesterday because my thoughts were racing a mile a minute and I had heart palpitations so I know I am bad. Why do we love mania so much. I guess because it feels so good! I feel like singing again! I love to sing but when I am depressed or "normal" i just don't feel like it.

Sorry for the rambling. I just had to get it out. I hope everyone has a great day!

Littlepieceofheaven

Oh and I got a new tattoo on Sat! I think that is number 36! LOL