Same with my grandma who does wear them in the nursing home, going on 12 years now. It completely sucks. I actually do not get "turned on" while in the nursing home where most the residence are wearing diapers or some sort of bladder pad. I've had some funny moments where I see they use a Tena diaper and I'm like "whoa" those are good diapers" Of course I am just thinking that, not telling people lol. Other than that, it's not a turn on and in fact, if I end up disabled and have to wear them for real, it wouldn't be a turn on either. This sort of thing has been a huge debate among the AB/DL world. Many "Haters" of us will come on a forum of ours and give us hell asking us "What about the people that wear them for real that have no choice? You guys have a choice and "get off" with diapers and it is just wrong"

My answer to them is this... "Many, disabled people were into this fetish before they became disabled and wearing diapers for real, and the ones who weren't, have no idea what they were missing"

TBO it would be a lot easier for someone who is into infantilism to find a partner who is into it likewise. The relationship would more likely to work. Obviously most would like to be with a partner who is a fellow AB for this reason.

However, for me, I prefer to find a partner who is my soul mate and if they are into Infantilism it would be a plus, but not a requirement for me. I would like to find someone who is open to the idea and will not be a deal breaker for them and yes, I would want a mommy/nurturer type that would help me fullfill my fantasies. Also I would like to see her in diapers ect, but if she doesn't want to wear the diapers then that is ok too. Mostly someone that will not disregard me for who I am and the strange, little fetish I have is who I would like to meet, non or AB it doesn't matter.

It is difficult though.

I went through a break-up as I stated before in these forums after I had fallen in love. She did help me out with my fantasies and wore the diapers for me... One day she told me that she cannot do it anymore as she felt nothing sexual towards me and never had since we started role playing. A good relationship needs good sex and she was not getting it, because of my fetish.
I decided that I could not change and forget my fetish so she walked. That was very hard and I still miss her to this day. I have been honest to myself though and you have to see it from the other person's view.

Although I am physically fit and trim, I am still a full grown man walking into the bedroom in front of my partner in a huge diaper on with maybe a bottle, sleeper pajamas or even smelling like powder... It just isn't sexy for most people to see their sex partners like this and is very intimidating for them and I understand. It still hurts though, because I never asked for this fetish and it has been part of me my entire life so I can never give it up, even for someone that I fallen in love with and hoped to spend my life with. That shows you just how strong a fetish like this is and how harmful it can be if you're not careful.

So I don't believe A diaper fetishist purposely seeks out ONLY likewise partners, but like anyone else, seeks out anyone who will love them for who they are fetishist or not. Having that person accept your fetish in the long run is something that would have to be seen and deal with the heartache that comes with it.

In conclusion, Having a diaper fetish makes a "lasting" relationship for an Infantilist, extremely difficult.