I am focusing on the positive things - in life in genenral, so thanks guys.

For example I am working out of my office for the next few days at a clients office and I'm not 'happy' to be there.. no email, no facebook and everyone there has the flu - yuck!! but then I found a positive, I enjoy going to lunch from the office as it has nice parks and good cheap food from the cafes

Figure if I can do that with everything I'll start to be more calmer and feel better about myself.

L rang last night - I wasn't expecting him to as we had decided that we wouldn't talk every night, simply running out of things to say. I kept a smile on my face the whole time, up beat and chatty to him but he was just 'blah' really. I asked what he has been up to and he said something along the lines of back to the grind and nothing interesting to say or do up there. Chat didn't last long about half an hour with me doing most of the talking.

The 'spark' has worn off already, no more smiles from him like there was at the start of getting to know each other.. It's only been a few months, 4 weeks in total spent together. If the 'spark' and happiness is dying now (imo) then what's left for the future? Relationships are hard work, I know that. M was a drug addict with major depression issues when we first got together... together we worked through all of that (I gave up drinking and he gave up the drugs) maybe that's what bonded us together.

I just don't feel the same bond with L. He doesn't actually seem to be the happy go lucky guy I thought he was. I know that being away at work for 4 weeks sucks but it's his choice so suck it up...

No "I love you" at the end of the call.... don't know what to make of the lack of that now. I'm not saying it until he does as I don't want to be left there hanging in the breeze again and I also don't want to put pressure on him to say it.

When M had told Lisa that he loved her 3 weeks into their relationship, I thought to myself WTF... you can't fall in love that quick - lust maybe but not love.

Everything with L moved pretty fast, we just 'clicked' (as he put it). Maybe it's slowing down to a normal pace? But a normal pace when I only get to see him every 4 weeks seems horrid...

I wanted to be swept off my feet. He did that at the start and now seems to have just become more of a 'friend'..

Rambling thoughts... no need for a reply really LOL just need to get it all out of my head!