Melba, I think you're brave to feel those feelings and your T is something else--willing to engage back and forth like that while you faced the demons. Sometimes when I feel these overwhelming feelings of rage, and frustration and I just can't take it anymore I do have such a hard time staying in the feeling. I seek to ditch it, push it away; it seems tooo much to carry all that old pain around. I told T the bags were too heavy.

I really identified with your story of the little girl in the supermarket. I was watching a film the other night and there was a young couple with a little girl at the table eating her supper. The father was drunk and started smacking the mom around and yelling at her really loud. The little girl started to cry, calling her mom. I so identified with her (the child). It was heartbreaking and made me realize how confused and frightened I must have been when all these scenes played out before my eyes as a little girl.

Yes, we had a right to the rage but those feelings are too much for a young child to manage so we compartmentalized, dissociated, and put those away for another day -- now.