I had a really bad panic attack yesterday and didn't know what to do. I've never experienced that before. I felt like I couldn't breath and my head felt like it was being squeezed and I got really hot and just panicky. I felt like I was going to pass out. I felt like I needed to get out of the house in a hurry but I wasn't showered and dressed. I wanted to just run outside and get air. It was a horrible feeling and there was no one I could even call to talk to me to calm me down. I ended up turning on the tv and started watching something that interested me and I started to calm down. I also prayed! I have been feeling very depressed lately because I'm lonely and missing my mom who's deceased and my family who lives 2 states away and who I have been estranged from somewhat. I am trying to reconnect with them i hope. My few friends I still have are in the same state as my family. I don't get to see anyone much and don't have friends where I live anymore. I have my bf only and i am grateful for him although i feel guilty that i put him through so much. It can't be easy dealing with someone who has so many mental health issues like myself. I sometimes think he would be better off without me. Anyway I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.