(((((((((((estee1))))))))))))) Please don't take on the aubsers guilt onto yourself. They are the one hurting you not the other way around. It is admirable you are forgiving them as many people could not do so. Is there a possibility they are unaware of the effect they are having upon you? If so maybe you could point out how they are harming you. It is not all right for them to cause you to be afraid. I know it is hard to feel safe around some people and everyone deserves to feel safe. Take care of yourself.