i have been sick with a cold the past few days so that has kinda worn me out, and made me feel a little more vulnerable than usual. my moods, i guess, to summarize, have mostly been mixed. i would say today has been more of a down day pretty consistently. i had blood work done at 8am, and had a call back about 5 hours later saying i could increase my depakote again. maybe 1500mg will be the right level. who knows. anyway, at 9am i had a very emotionally draining/hard therapy session in which i was surprised by my own forthcomingness and level of honesty - while staying pretty calm, i'd say - although that may have had something to do with the ativan, ha - about some issues i've never really talked about in such details before, but i have been struggling with the past 2 years. i feel confident in who i am seeing as a therapist again and that she will be there for me and work with me through figuring out everything. i find her words and attitude comforting, and did not feel at all judged. so i guess that is one positive. i am, however, hoping to feel a little less down tomorrow. crossing my fingers this depakote increase works.