as some of you know, I went back to school this week. It has been a week full of new experiences, including making some new friends.
I met someone that I have a lot in common with and we are in the same program at school, we just really seemed to click. It's been great. We've seen a lot of each other this week and done a lot of talking, getting to know one another. I have found myself again and again talking about my T.
Things like, "My T said ____" or "one time T told me ____". I'm kind of worried that this new friend of mine might think I'm either obsessed with my T or just really, really screwed up. Or both.
And then it followed, after talking about T and therapy to her a lot, that she wondered what I'm in therapy for. She definitely gave me room to be as vague or noncommittal in my answer as I wanted to be, but I had told her that therapy can be really hard and we had spent some time discussing different types of therapy and other psych related topics.
So, I finally just told her about the CSA and the SA
I didn't go into any detail with her, I can barely even do that with my T, but I told her. And now ever since she left I just keep wondering, why did I tell her? Do I somehow think that makes me "special"? Or am I trying to push her away, to freak her out? I don't know my motivation, and I don't know what I expect to happen next. Maybe I wanted to tell her now in case she wants to get out of the friendship, better to do it now than later when we are more attached?
I don't now. Confused and a little triggered.