I ask myself the same questions and no answer. True when asked how you are I say the same thing I am ok even when I am not because the person asking doesn't really want to know really how you are feeling when you tell the truth they start to avoid you as if depression is catching or simply they are embarrassed as they know they cant help. My children kept me going. I was afraid if anything happened to me they'd end up in a home or with my mother which would have been worse I do not know but I am thankful the i managed to keep going and that they have grown into pretty balanced people. They are worried about me but dont know what to do do help me. I am not feeling good today. Yesterday I decided to thing happy thoughts all day but had to stop as I kept laughting to myself and was becoming manic so I change the thought to joy and peace I felt a bit calmer but today all I want to do is fall asleep I dont want to leave the house I have to keep going. Take care