Lately I seem to be chronically depressed. I live with my best friends, and lately I seem to hold the expectation that They need to make ME happy. I know that this is a backwards view towards life, because I know that if I expect the world around me to make me happy, I will always be disappointed. I know this, yet I feel that I lack the inner strength to take my own happiness into my own hands. Which makes me further depressed. I feel left out of their fun and games because I don't enjoy video games or being intoxicated or smoking, and because I always have to leave to go to work or run other errands. I feel like I don't have anything in common with my best friends anymore, which makes me very sad, because I love them to death, and I don't want to loose them from my life.

I don't know if I'm writing for an outlet, for encouragement, or for advice.