dear Barbie,,, one thing i have learned lately is: it's ok to grieve. you are loosing one life, and beginning another,,, the new life will have it's own joys and excitemtents, it's own little sorrows and troubles,,, this is true of all of life, as it changes and changes and changes, until we find our own true core. Watch for what brings you genuine Peace,, deep peace,, and follow that. Wishing you all the best... Gus