sometimes it takes a lot of attempts to find the right fit. ive always thought i was a follower and I'm in my thirties now and I've begun to try different things that i do on my own, without friends so I can see if that is truly me. many times its not. i also think that we change so much in who we are as time goes on that we may never find ourselves but that we should just try and accept ourselves for who we are at the moment. tomorrow i may be someone completely different and new. i am always adding new layers to myself.
i think growing numb is probably a different issue than finding yourself, imo. i hope you can find a way to bring some feeling back into your life as this may help in finding things you enjoy.