Lately I have felt overwhelmed with my life. I have BP and my 10 year old daughter is showing signs of something, but right now it is just "mood disorder". We started her on meds, I think they need to be tweaked. She is taking Zoloft and Risperdone. She seems to be rapid cycling, getting really mad, really quick and then one second later everything is fine. I feel like I cant take her anywhere becasue we never know when she is going to blow up. Every morning we get up she fights me and calls me names, refuses to get dressed, get in the van, etc. and we are always running late for work or school. I work full time and have three more kids. I am trying to get everything done and taken care of but my stress level is just going through the roof. I have been really angry lately and been pretty mean to everyone in my family. I dont want to be this way, I just dont feel in control of my emotions. I feel really guilty today becasue I just yelled and yelled at the kids and really upset them. My daughter with the "mood disorder" has said she would like to go live with her dad (who is about 4 hours away). One one hand I feel like it might be better for her becasue of my behavior, on other her dad doesnt really acept that she has something wrong with her, he doenst really believe in mental illness. I dont want her to go off her meds and not get the help she needs. I dont know what to do. I just want to throw myself over a cliff and I actually said that this morning. I think I scared my kids. I have never been this bad before........I am overwhelmed with thoughts of dealing with her illness and mine for the rest of our lives. I love her, but sometimes I am resentful I think. I am a horrible mother!!