I am sorry your feeling this way. I have been there like you and still do once in awhile, it's just an idea because what might help me, may not be for you, but when I get to the point of everything is at the end, I call friends an just chit chat about plesant things, or get outside an go for a walk or play with neighbor hood kids or dogs, or sometimes just go to a department store like Walmarts and walk around the store up and down each isle, other words just get out an do something nice for yourself until the feeling passes. Welcome to PC and there is plenty of caring people here that you can talk too.