My boyfriend left his wife of 22 yrs. and his three teenage kids when he started seeing me a few months ago. When we first met he didn't tell me he was married, but we were crazy about each other right away. After our first official date he told me he was married but that he had been miserable in his marriage for at least ten years. He told me he'd been wanting to get out for a long, long time and that he was so unhappy in his marriage that he was turning to recreational drugs just to get by because he and his wife didn't have a physical relationship for years. He didn't want to cheat but he felt at the end of his rope and he was miserable. We talked many times and I resisted dating him and told him I didn't want to be the cause of a marriage ending. He assured me that he was going to get divorced anyway, and that he wanted very much for me to be in his life.

So we started dating and honestly fell deeply in love. It's the happiest relationship either of us has ever been in, and we give each other a lot of strength and joy. My boyfriend left his wife and got his own place, and she was ok with the separation. Then he told her about me, and ever since then his wife has been obsessed with hating me. She says she "hates" me because I am a cheater and she will do everything in her power to keep me from ever meeting or even getting near her kids. She has gone behind my boyfriend's back to his family and said horrible things about me, although she's never met me and doesn't even know my name. I understood her reaction at first, but this has been going on for three months now and instead of becoming more accepting of the situation, she is getting worse. My boyfriend is very close with his kids and wants to gradually introduce me, but she goes into a rage at the mere mention of it. He and I are talking about moving in together, but our relationship is sort of on hold because any time his kids come over I clear out. He's introduced me to most of his extended family and his friends, and I have no designs on his kids except to help him get them to their sporting events, etc., and of course I hope to someday be their friend. I do not feel it's fair for me to be bearing the brunt of my boyfriend's wife's wrath. I've been very patient the past few months, but am getting fed up. I love my boyfriend and I would never leave him, but I start to wonder if he told his wife the truth about how unhappy he had been the last ten years of their marriage. Also, he never told her how we met and how he pursued me. I've asked him about this and he says it would do no good to tell his wife about how we met because she is intent on playing a "martyr." Not sure what advice I expect from this forum... but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Thank you.