You're right about not letting people into your life who will hurt you. That's real sad that your mum sees things in that way. She must have alot of problems herself. It's really hard when your family are the ones that have abused you. It's not like we can just get them out of our life and even if we do we lose something which could have been really precious. I have been in that situation where you feel that if the person who hurt you was dead your life would be so much easier. You look forward to the day when you hear that they are gone because then you finally might feel free.
I hope that your mum will someday see the truth and stop blaming you. Not just for your sake, but for her sake. That must have hurt you so much. It's horrible when people say stuff like that. It's so not true...what she said. It's not your fault. You are right to stick up for yourself.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))