You know I am guility of this and so are most people .. we ask how are you doing and all we really ant them to say is fine not problems and go on with life so now i dont ask that question unless i have the time to devote to the person... it is surprisely how much they just want someone to listen to them, and really there is no reason why you cant tell them after they have talked for so long that you need to do so an so and then do it dont give them a chance to try to change your mind.. .. if they are overly concerned about theirself and situation then that is not the person to try to tell your problems to.. .. people have to be in the right space inorder to listen and converse with each other.. just my opinion... sweeteawice