I kind of feel like my friend sort of talks about SI completely obliviously; she's definitely not trying to make fun of it, though she has made a few degrading remarks about it since I've known her. It's not like a huge thing between the two of us, but it is kind of always struck me as strange. I'm fairly certain she doesn't know about me, but i feel like if she brings it up again, I might need to tell her.
I have a few friends that I have told; most people I've told think SI is something I used to do, not that it's an ongoing problem. There's only person that I've really talked to about it recently. He's really supportive, and he tries to understand, but I don't even fully understand it so it's hard to explain it to someone who has no idea what it's like.

I guess the girl who triggers me does so because her fragility really scares me. I spend so much time trying to keep cool in front of other people, and just breaking down in private; she wears her emotions on her sleeve and allows everyone to be witness to her moodswings and mania. She has a very in-your-face personality, which is so unlike my own. I'm generally quite subdued in public situations, so to meet someone who is such a type-A while also being extremely emotionally-driven just sends me into insane moodswings of my own. Also, I've never really had such a close with someone who is also a self-injurer (at least that I could obviously see). I guess seeing so much of what I go through spelled out plainly for everyone else to see on somebody else's body makes me uncomfortable.

I think that guy in the car upset me so much because I was already in such a fragile place and I felt like I had just got my moods back under control, then his unexpected rudeness kind of threw me off balance. I tried to call my mom right after it had happened, too, to talk it out, but she didn't answer the phone, and I just let that defeat me.