First of all, you are NOT a horrible mother! You are obviously a decent, caring mother or you wouldn't have posted here in the first place. Who wouldn't be struggling in your shoes? You're bipolar yourself and you're trying to deal with a bipolar daughter. I can't think of many more dynamics off hand that could be tougher. Mother-daughter relationships just in themselves are considered by some professionals to be the most difficult ones there are. (There's a book about that, but I can't recall the name or the author.) For right now, I'll leave it up to the other smart people at PC to make specific suggestions. But please don't be so hard on yourself. Okay?