Thanks everyone. I do know who ME is. I am the person who likes to work with wool and crate. I am the one who loves the freecycle site. I love critters and I enjoy my friends. Thing is I have 5 people living in this house with me and it get's messy easily. I often am uninterested or too tired to deal with it. I do a few things like a load of laundry and load the dishwasher. Then I expect that other people will see what needs to be done and do it. No,

My son and his dad had a great fight over this stuff and it seems that son's perception is that he does a lot more then we perceive he does. Than he rags about youngest not doing her share. I told him that she does her share, just not the things that are hard for her OCD. AND that she is working on it.

So I feel edgy and uncomfortable when the house is trashed, I hide in my room more. The answer is somewhere in between. Clean and do everything as though they were 4 years old? I just don't want the fights anymore.